While you have, or rather, had fears that you may cease to be, I have fears that I will never write as well as you. I know perfectly well that you were a genius, and that you wrote in an entirely different time period and style. The fact that you were a genius puts me off from ever aspiring to surpass your brilliance, but it does not stop me from striving for improvement.
What I fear is that I will never surpass my own level of writing. Will I ever improve? Will I ever write something better? Will I ever bring my writing to a whole new level? I fear that I am static, that the poetry I write will always be silly and meaningless, just words from a confused adolescent girl.
I do not expect brilliance to explode inside of me tomorrow, nor do I expect myself to go down in history with the status of William Shakespeare, John Donne, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Rainer Maria Rilke, JK Rowling, or like you, Mr. Keats. However, I want to be proud of what I’ve achieved by the time I reach the end of my rope. By the time I have drowned myself from the inside out I want to have a feeling of accomplishment, to know that I have impacted at least one person with my combinations of the twenty-six letters of the alphabet.
How do you do what you do, Mr. Keats? Can you let me into your teeming brain, or is there no more room, just nothing but stardust and miracles left in the skull of one of the dead.
How do you do what you do, they ask me sometimes, looking at the paper I fold in my hands. How do you do what you do, my parents ask, when they look at my writing. How do you do what you do, I ask, when I behold my father’s woodwork.
Talent.
While you have fears that you may cease to be, I have fears that I will cease to contain any talent, if I had had a morsel of it to begin with.